Just another day at the office...

[sparkindarkness]

Sitting there merrily sticking pins in the little dollies of some of my more special clients (mental note: must stop this before Mad Secretary starts trying to steal their hair) when in walks a new client - Ms G.

Ms G has a problem. She needs to get rid of something very important. Curious I ask what.

"Why, this." She replies and reaches into her handbag and puts a handgun on my desk.

A gun. On my desk.

At this point I can be found clinging to the light fixtures. I don't do guns. I am blissfully happy that Britain's gun laws mean that even though I am a defence lawyer in one of Britain's most crime plagues cities I So very very rarely come into contact with firearms.

And now there's a GUN ON MY DESK!!!

"I don't think it's loaded, but I'm not sure.." she said and STARTS FIDDLING WITH IT!

There's a possibly loaded gun on my desk!

AND a clueless moron is POKING this POSSIBLY LOADED GUN! Which is ON MY DESK!



Suddenly all my crazy clients look so much better. At least this don't drop freaking FIREARMS on my desk!





And to add: HEY, senior partners? Do we have NO security here at all?! (Well no, we don't. I suppose people don't regularly bring FIREARMS TO MY OFFICE!!!! but still, maybe we could get some...)

Comments

[seryan.livejournal.com]

Good lord. I don't know how to get rid of a firearm either, but I don't think I'd bring it with me when I asked!

[oxfordgirl.livejournal.com]

EXCUSE ME FUCK WHAT?!

I had to check it wasn't Rabbithole day when I read this...!

[moondancerdrake.livejournal.com]

Okay, I got nothing for this. You handled it much better than I would've. I totally would've wigged out if someone brought me some gun they wanted to get rid of. That is a new level of crazy.

[speaks.livejournal.com]

Thats actually a law school hypothetical here in the US.

We use Cocaine rather than a gun, but then we do love our guns here in the states.

"What do you do when a client comes and drops a brick of cocaine on your desk and says 'I need to get rid of this.'"

the question i have is

[makarov.livejournal.com]

was it a revolver or a semi-auto ?

[dontkickmycane.livejournal.com]

At least you're here to tell us about it. I'm with you, though, up around the lighting fixtures. Security would be good...

[wyrdrune.livejournal.com]

Any idea what make or model? (Just nosey :-)

Personally, after I'd looked at (without touching it myself) and told the client not to touch it, I'd have phoned the police...

[hippieflowergal.livejournal.com]

Holey crap! I would have freaked out!

[thisdaydreamer.livejournal.com]

Eep. I have to wonder why she needed to get rid of it...

[blackironcrown.livejournal.com]

Interesting. What did you do with it?

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

see, this is why you became a lawyer. For the LOlZ :)

[jocelyncs.livejournal.com]

Wow! I live in gun central and that's never happened to me! (Surprisingly.)

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Okay, dude? You've just surpassed "fear over guns" firmly into "fear of guns", and that's a bad thing.

In the future: Take the fucking thing AWAY from the client, and either discard the cylinder (revolver) or pull the clip and work the action (non-revolver), or neither if you can't figure out what's going on with the thing[1], before depositing it firmly in a LOCKED DRAWER until the LOVELY FRIENDLY POLICE OFFICERS arrive, who you called because a client dropped a fucking gun on your fucking desk.

[1]: And, if so, LEARN. Fucking handguns are fucking simple. Taking the bullets out, to the point where you're confident that it can't fire, should be simple, especially given that your next reaction is always going to be to lock the thing in a box until the cops come to collect it.

[cazmanian-minx.livejournal.com]

Good grief. My mother did something similar actually (though not in a crazy lady kind of way, obviously...) - after Dad died she found a couple of guns at the bottom of his tennis sweater drawer that she knew definitely weren't his shotguns (which were licensed and locked up correctly). So her brother asked a retired policeman friend of his to go round and take a look and this guy turned up, obviously having been told something along the lines of 'It sounds like she's found an air rifle and freaked out, could you go round and reassure her?'

Mum opened up the drawer and the ex-policeman went white to the roots of his hair - semi-automatic machine guns, probably brought back from his national service stint, fighting in the Mau Mau rebellion in Kenya! They got hastily donated to the Royal Gloucesters Museum!