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sparkindarknessI am now going to put in a nice little cutty thing to shield your tender, innocent eyes
You all clicked didn't you? Shameful! SHAME!
Ok, some rants.
Rant the first - Being kinky. Especially with regards to BDSM. I spoke about this briefly here http://sparkindarkness.livejournal.com/215749.html but looking around I remember that it's not exclusive to one author, nor am I the only reader irritated by it
http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2009/02/24/review-the-reluctant-dom-by-tymber-dalton/comment-page-1/#comment-192678
So let's pull this out onto the carpet where we can see it in all its glory.
I am kinky. I am a fan of BDSM. I am a switch and, yes, I am both a Sadist and a Masochist, primarily the latter. I also play dominance and submission games with glee. Freely admitted without shame or worry or concern. I won't go into details about my particular preferences because they're unnecessary. That is what I am and what I am happy being - I am not ashamed or embarrassed by this (I used to be when I was much much younger, but a very good lover sorted out a lot of my problems on that score).
Things I am not:
1) I do not have any mental problems. I do not have any mental illnesses. My BDSM-ness is not in any way the result of or indicative of mental issues. My BDSM-ness is NOT a replacement for therapy. I find it ill-advised to the point of blithering stupidity for ANYONE to use sex as therapy.
2) I am not evil. I am not a sociopath. Really. Enjoying a little pain in the bedroom doesn't mean I relish in the agony of others. I don't torture kittens. I'm sympathetic to and upset by the pain of others. In fact, I'd go so far to say if you're in the BDSM scene the LAST person you want as a top is a sociopath. Really.
3) I am not guilty. I am not seeking a way to punish myself for some terrible sin or crime. I ENJOY IT. This isn’t self-punishment.
Because this is what I see in book after book and, I’ll be honest, it’s more than a little insulting and it’s certainly tiresome. But it’s also confusing
I just don’t quite get it. Are these authors who write about teh kinkeh so terribly terribly vanilla? I just get this image of these authors writing about BDSM and totally freaking themselves out. If it squicks you so badly, why are you writing about it? If it discomforts you so much that you can’t do some decent research into it then... why make it a part of your books and a major part of your characters?
I’m not saying authors should always write inside their comfort zones - but if they’re this put off by it or it is this alien to them then surely a little research at least is in order?
You all clicked didn't you? Shameful! SHAME!
Ok, some rants.
Rant the first - Being kinky. Especially with regards to BDSM. I spoke about this briefly here http://sparkindarkness.livejournal.com/215749.html but looking around I remember that it's not exclusive to one author, nor am I the only reader irritated by it
http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2009/02/24/review-the-reluctant-dom-by-tymber-dalton/comment-page-1/#comment-192678
So let's pull this out onto the carpet where we can see it in all its glory.
I am kinky. I am a fan of BDSM. I am a switch and, yes, I am both a Sadist and a Masochist, primarily the latter. I also play dominance and submission games with glee. Freely admitted without shame or worry or concern. I won't go into details about my particular preferences because they're unnecessary. That is what I am and what I am happy being - I am not ashamed or embarrassed by this (I used to be when I was much much younger, but a very good lover sorted out a lot of my problems on that score).
Things I am not:
1) I do not have any mental problems. I do not have any mental illnesses. My BDSM-ness is not in any way the result of or indicative of mental issues. My BDSM-ness is NOT a replacement for therapy. I find it ill-advised to the point of blithering stupidity for ANYONE to use sex as therapy.
2) I am not evil. I am not a sociopath. Really. Enjoying a little pain in the bedroom doesn't mean I relish in the agony of others. I don't torture kittens. I'm sympathetic to and upset by the pain of others. In fact, I'd go so far to say if you're in the BDSM scene the LAST person you want as a top is a sociopath. Really.
3) I am not guilty. I am not seeking a way to punish myself for some terrible sin or crime. I ENJOY IT. This isn’t self-punishment.
Because this is what I see in book after book and, I’ll be honest, it’s more than a little insulting and it’s certainly tiresome. But it’s also confusing
I just don’t quite get it. Are these authors who write about teh kinkeh so terribly terribly vanilla? I just get this image of these authors writing about BDSM and totally freaking themselves out. If it squicks you so badly, why are you writing about it? If it discomforts you so much that you can’t do some decent research into it then... why make it a part of your books and a major part of your characters?
I’m not saying authors should always write inside their comfort zones - but if they’re this put off by it or it is this alien to them then surely a little research at least is in order?