sparkindarkness: (Default)
[personal profile] sparkindarkness
Of course, the reminder only serves to make you feel SILLY about the childish thing you just did.


The powers that be have finally repaired our underground parking at work (possibly because we have kidnapped the Senior Partners’ significant others until the work gets done. Well Expect for most Senior of Partner‘s spouse - but we promised him we would kidnap her when the work is finished. He is now looking hopeful).

And like any new building work we seem to have done - it’s a disaster. It’s very very very poorly lit, the electrics are severely dodgy and the acoustics mean that a revving engine may actually burst your ear drums - oh and it has a ventilation system that seems to have the sole purpose of piping IN smell. Needless to say, words have been exchanged.

However it did set the scene for silliness.

Colleague and I, after a late night of trying to meet a deadline (no chance, Client is incapable of understanding the term, I think we should work on teaching him the word syllable by syllable...) we make our way down to our cars.

The lights are dead. It is pitch black. We are reduced to shuffling along the cavernous space using our phones as make-shift torches

It’s al this point the colleague remarks that she wishes she hadn’t watched so many horror films. I did not find this remark helpful - though i was suddenly very much in agreement

I have to mention at this point that the ventilation systems makes a rather disturbing, well, groaning sound. A moaning almost. And a plastic bag caught in the draft sounds almost EXACTLY like shuffling feet. Shuffling dragging feet.

There follows a pause. A pause while 2 grown adults (horror movie aficionados), logical, sensible, mature professionals have an internal monologue convincing themselves that, no, there are no zombies in the parking garage.

Neither of us is very convincing. Of course, running desperately for the cars in the dark would be foolish and unsafe. It would also be embarrassing as hell. And we’re not that silly, are we? Are we? Not even with that scraping sound... Or that wailing sound... Ah hell

...

So what have I learned?

1) Even the silliest of things can suddenly seem real in a spooky dark car park.
2) Colleague TOTALLY has my back in case of a zombie apocalypse. No fumbling for keys, she can get them out and ready in a second while I cover her, and she can get her high-heels off for easier running in 2 seconds flat. We’d be an absolutely rocking team. Can’t you just see it now? 2 Lawyers running through the streets with shotguns killing zombies and making lots of bad legal puns? “OBJECTION, brain-eater!” “Habeus THIS, corpus!”
3) Being eaten by zombies may actually preferable to the moment of squirming embarrassment that followed us turning on the headlights. We are Not Talking About It.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] makarov.livejournal.com
buy a small torch, 1 with a LED bulb that takes AA size batteries, keep it in your briefcase

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuglas.livejournal.com
"Habeus THIS, corpus!”

LOL

When I was around 30, my dad found me poking at a rather odd, cream colored round blob on the side of the house with a stick. He asked me what I was doing. "Checking for aliens." I wasn't kidding, either. It turns out it was some insulation foam stuff that he blew up under the siding and which oozed out of a crack.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etumukutenyak.livejournal.com
I'd pay good money to see this movie.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] touchstone.livejournal.com
Even one of those 1-LED watch-battery lights meant for your keychain can cast a pretty significant amount of light in a pitch-black space. Look for one that has a static on/off switch in addition to a momentary 'lit while you press this' mode...some of them only have the second, which is fine for finding a keyhole in the dark but irritating if you need to keep it on for 5 minutes.

This one turned out to be a lot brighter than I expected - looked at head-on, it leaves quite an after-image even in a lit room:

http://www.photonlight.com/Photon-Micro-Light-II-Keychain-LED-Flashlights-p/p2-keychain-led-flashlight.htm

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janetmiles.livejournal.com
"Habeus THIS, corpus!”

LOL


My thoughts exactly.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinimaus.livejournal.com
*thinks about pointing and laughing at Sparky*
*remembers what happened this morning with the strange noises in her false ceiling*
*shuts up*

Btw, I'm still so glad I've got you around to blame. When I had this blazing row with my husband this afternoon, I normally would have gone for my period/him being an insensitive lazy clod sometimes, but it's so much easier to say it's your fault. I reckon you may be saving my marriage.

Oh, wait, that can't be right.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suryaofvulcan.livejournal.com
My phone actually has a torch function. I think I'll learn how to use it now ...

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] speaks.livejournal.com
Now I want Wolff and Byrd to fight their way through a Zombie Apocalypse

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fadethecat.livejournal.com
I second this. Twice, if you can get in some kind of accountant sidekick.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 07:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] only-playing.livejournal.com
Darling Husband and I talk often about the relative merits of XYZ, "in case of zombie apocalypse", so I understand what you mean.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brownkitty.livejournal.com
Dibs on the popcorn concession.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ephemera.livejournal.com
you were being stealth!lawyers, not fleeing!lawyers. clearly. kind of like cats ...

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] being-here.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one to do that.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hippieflowergal.livejournal.com
I am 26 years old, calm, professional and collected. I am also afraid of the dark. I have a little flashlight on my key ring for just that reason.

(Sparky, I have been a reader for a few years before I had a LJ of my own [found you via Customers_Suck] I am not a crepy stalker girl. Well, not really...Ok, maybe a bit)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geenerswh.livejournal.com
Don't worry, hippie, you're not the only creepy stalker girl who found Sparky through Customers_Suck.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-23 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hippieflowergal.livejournal.com
Good to know! (And I really can spell)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-24 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrmeval.livejournal.com
Streamlight

Vendor is an example, buy local. If anyone knows of comparable UK manufacturer of good quality flashlights holler.
http://www.drillspot.com/products/87269/Streamlight_72001_Sub-Miniature_Flashlight

1) Have fire making tools always
2) Have a good light source

Why? A light that can cause people to gasp is always fun. Making fire is fun anytime.

The mini light is to get me to the 65 lumen surefire and 12 pack of batteries in the glove compartment of my car. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-24 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moondancerdrake.livejournal.com
So, how upset would you be if I ganked your real life drama for a story, cause this is funlicious fiction? I can totally see it too...I hate to admit how many time I've had the same mental conversation in a dark basement. Glad to know if we were in a monster flick I could count on you to have my back. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
But that would be organised! I can't have that!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
:)

LOL, well there COULD be aliens!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
It'd be soo good. You know it :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
See? By being the cause of all drama I am savingv people!

yes yes I am!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
KI keep my phone simple - the simpler it is the less chance it has to break

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
I'd pay money to see that.

I'm sure they did a comic relief like that once. They had many normal programmes like soaps and suddenly added zombies :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
It is necessary to be prepared :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
See? we acted with dignity!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
We can all be silly together :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
See now I don't have that kind of oragnisation :)


lol the more the merrier :) even the creepy stalkers :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
But that would be sensible and organised and stuff!
Hmm maybe I should get one :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
lol let the fiction role - the more stories the better :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-18 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrmeval.livejournal.com
They are extremely nice to have. The better of the high intensity LED ones have dimmer settings which are better for working on the car or walking in the dark. They are water proof, shock proof, nuke proof, etc. I recommend the LED versions for battery life and 'bulb' life.

The extreme intensity is mainly for peace of mind i.e. you can *see*, for intimidation or for signaling. They can garner attention if for some reason you cannot contact emergency services directly. The higher priced of these style flashlights can be made to blink incessantly.

Right now Sure Fire and Streamlight are the easiest high quality flashlights you can find in the US. There should be a good quality British manufactured one. Look for 'tactical' or 'law enforcement use'. It's mostly a meaningless term, you'd have to be able to handle one to evaluate it but at least it can point you to who might have good brands. Granted 'made in somewhere' is usually china but at least you can gripe at the local business if it breaks.

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