Anal sex, HIV and ignorance costing lives

It appears there has been survey regarding sexual habits.
One of the things it has found is that a greater number of straight women who have anal sex bareback than gay men – i.e. most women who have anal sex do not have their partner wear a condom during. Further, it showed that the women who didn’t use condoms were also not getting any kind of regular STD check. Perhaps most disturbing is the fact that young women are less likely to use condoms than older women.

Now, there are many things wrong and many things unsaid about this survey, aside from the problems of self-reporting. There’s the problem that many people in a monogamous relationship won’t feel the need to use condoms – gay, bi and straight – and that’s understandable. There’s the problem that its highlighting anal sex when it is hardly the only sex act that can spread STDs in general and HIV in particular.

However, there is one thing that screams out to me from this survey that makes me furious and has made me rage before – again it is an indication that AIDS = gay disease is still believed, at least on some level, at least to some degree.

Frankly I don’t know whether to be angry about that or deeply sad. Probably both.

I have said before that AIDS is one of the greatest failures of mankind. AIDS is a tribute to mankind’s ignorance, mankind’s prejudice and mankind’s indifference to the vulnerable. AIDS is a pandemic that could easily have been reduced to a fraction of its current levels if the ignorance surrounding it hadn’t been encouraged, if the victims of the disease hadn’t been met with such indifference by the powers that be because it was only some irrelevant minorities who were dying. If the various religious and right wing groups with their toxic agendas hadn’t hijacked the whole damn thing to push forward their anti-sex, anti-contraception, anti-gays spiel.

And the sad thing is that this ignorance is not only continuing, but seems to be growing. People still believe the foolishness that AIDS is a gay disease. In fact, even MORE people believe that now than believed it in 2000. People still believe they are safe because they are not gay. (And it’s ironic that a study highlighting this partially perpetuates that by focusing on anal sex). Even now whenever a survey comes out that says, for example, that infection rates among black women are soaring, they go looking for black men on the down-low. Because there simply HAS TO BE A GAY MAN INVOLVED! Has to has to has to has to. It is a rule.

This needs to be ultimately, unequivocally clear here. It is possible to be straight and catch HIV. It is possible to catch HIV from straight sex. It is possible to catch HIV from vaginal sex. It is even possible to catch HIV from oral sex. It is possible to catch HIV without a single gay man being involved in the process anywhere. Being straight does not make you safe, being straight does not mean you can’t catch it. Only having sex with straight people who themselves only have sex with straight people does not make you immune.

And above all, for gays, bis and straights alike – the condom bloody WORKS people.

This ignorance is literally killing people.

The Sparky does not need family Politics on a Sunday morning

I was actually woken up this morning – yes, MORNING on a SUNDAY. Before NOON on a SUNDAY I was AWAKE. And despite my random attempts at horrifying violence, Beloved did not go away.

He reminded me that its my cousin’s youngest daughter’s chirstening today. In the morning. On a Sunday. Did I mention it was before noon? And apparently I was expected to attend. I informed him that the Christening wasn’t that morning it was that afternoon/later in the week/next month/year/decade/millennium. He has a shiny electric thing that tells him I am… mistaken. Damn electrical thing. I am confiscating it.

So I got up. Before noon remember. On a Sunday no less. And dragged myself to say hello to relatives who were already making an early start on the essential tasks of bickering, sniping and resurrecting old grudges. (Normally I‘d play but it was before noon – on a Sunday, even!) make it clear I was there (being Absent from a Family Gathering is a capital crime) before wandering off to a coffeeshop to plug caffeine in my veins while they went into the church.

After many coffees and a ridiculously long time afterwards (I have no idea what took so long. Baby. Font. Dunk. Jobs a good ‘un) we gathered together for the Bun Fight. I think I was a little late because there was already 3 flaming rows going on and 2 people who were Not Talking To Each Other by the time I arrived. Probably best I was, I wasn’t on fighting form that morning. Because it was morning. Before Noon. On a SUNDAY.

However, cousin has tried a very very daring and crafty tactic. There was no booze at the Bun Fight. None. A very risky gamble indeed (and yes, it is a Sunday morning – as I may have mentioned – but it’s a family gathering. There. Will. Be. Booze. It is KNOWN). Briefly the entire machine of the family gathered in united outrage at the lack of booze – but it was short lived, since booze is the only known power on Earth that can keep the family together for any length of time (and Free Booze can also guarantee them crossing the entire country to be there, such is the power of booze) and the family quickly de-camped to various pubs.

But it was not so simple. Since Flaming Rows had already been initiated, the family decamped to 3 separate pubs (originally 2 but there was a faction split and further Not Talking To Each Other). So 3 pubs have now been taken over by branches of the family muttering and complaining about the other 2 branches.

But it can never be so simple. i mean, what’s the point of sticking the knife in if they don’t KNOW it? Especially since you also want to know what terrible and nasty things THEY are saying about you (because THEY have no shame. It is known). But going to the other pubs could be taken as changing sides… faced with this dilemma you are forced to deploy small children or Jolly Grannies.

Small Children are cheap and easy to use – but every child in the family knows that loyalty to one’s parents only lasts until uncle shells out for crisps and chocolate, making them easily co-opted.

Jolly Grannies are harder to turn – since they expect everyone younger than them to keep the drink flowing anyway. But they also play their own game, and may spread false information just to start more arguments they can cackle over. This can make them a dangerous loose canon and if you suspect your Jolly Granny has become a Shit-Stirring Operative, the best way to neutralise her is to line up 2 other Grannies and bring them together – then they will sit down and spend the rest of the day  pointing out all the many many many ways the younger generation is lacking. It’s a bonus if you can arrange this in the enemy’s pub, since they’ll have to support the grannies’ bar bill – and if the Grannies argue and end up Not Talking To Each Other they will split the opposite faction since Grannies ALWAYS demand you take sides.

Sparky, not being entirely foolish and being very tired (because it was a Sunday Morning, damn it) decided to leave the festivities as soon as was humanly possible (a bonus to not attending the church) however I am getting regular text messages from various relatives on the current state of play.

Hmmm *loses phone* oh dear, I guess now I will never know.