Nov. 28th, 2009

To York!

Nov. 28th, 2009 05:15 pm
sparkindarkness: (Default)
York has a Christmas market every year. It is usually a little special (actually, this year it seemed small and kind of disappointing - but only compared to how epic it usually is). The market is Dickensian - as in, many of the storeholders will dress up in glorious Victoriana. And you can wander around and look at stalls from all over Europe, drinking mulled wine, hot chocolate with Baileys, eating hot chestnuts and paella and pizza and Turkish kebabs and looking at the many many shinies for sale (food is amazing! Food from EVERYWHERE)

In short it is of the good. In addition, since we’re heading the right way we go to Hawes to get stock for Christmas. Hawes is the Wensleydale creamery. And, yes, it’s so worth the trip so long as you’re prepared to buy your own bodyweight in cheese. And yes, yes we are.

However there are bad points.

Firstly, I am near death from lack of sleep. Beloved had to do all the driving while I prayed for mercy in the passenger seat attempted to get some sleep (he’s not actually a bad driver - but I am an AWFUL passenger. He frequently asked me if I wanted to drive - I assured him that wouldn’t be necessary and I would inform him if he was doing anything wrong. Repeatedly. At length. And great volume).

But the worst thing of all is York.

I hate York. The market is great, but I loathe the city with a deep and fiery passion. It is a black hole of all evil in the county. Some religions believe you go to hell after you die. If you’re really bad, Dogma would have us believe you go to Wisconsin. People who are even worse? Go to York (but are at least spared Birmingham).

The problem is that York’s chief selling points are also its flaws. York is ancient, historic, quaint and picturesque. This means city planning is a laughable concept - making everything very hard to find and it very easy to get lost. The streets are extremely narrow (but still huge buses, lorries and tanks happily barge around) but the buildings are tall - giving it a closed, claustrophobic feeling, exacerbated by the HUGE CROWDS of people crammed in its narrow narrow streets. Parking is non-existent, so any driver feels perfectly ok stopping ANYWHERE for ANY length of time for ANY reason. Combined this makes driving through York a... singular experience.

Add in that if you spill a glass of water in York, the Ouse breaks its bank and several roads are blocked off, that the Vale of York has some kind of alien aura killing all mobile phone and Sat Nav signals.

Still, the market was most certainly of the good. And I kept awake by eating nearly constantly and drinking nearly twice as much :) And I got shinies. And we got so much food for the holidays that we will never have to shop again until NEXT December.


Then we went to Hawes - which is a hellaciously long drive. BUT it’s a drive through the Yorkshire Dales which are so stunning even in the winter that I nearly forgot to complain about Beloved’s driving. Nearly.

Hawes has the Wensleydale creamery. Including lots and lots and lots of sample cheese you can try and decide on. It is delicious and you will eat far too much cheese, it is known. We ended up buying so much cheese I wondered whether it would fit in the care - but it was SO GOOOOOOOD!

And we had ice cream. Yes, in November, but it was in a creamery - how gorgeous do you think said ice cream was? Clotted cream icecream... nom nom nom. And then I found their Christmas pudding ice cream which I thought was funny.

We now have 4 litres of it. It is unbelievably gorgeous. I shall eat it all. Yes yes I shall. Probably before the week is over. Oh yes.

So, yesterday was a good day. Yes yes it was, even with York. But I now need to hibernate.

Well, if one can hibernate while eating cheese and ice cream, anyway.
sparkindarkness: (Default)
At the market, Beloved and I got separated largely due to my sleep deprived state (he totally abandoned me! ABANDONED ME!!!! *wails*).

I usually avoid this. Beloved cannot be allowed to shop unattended. He will end up buying a whole sheep or something. Quite possibly still alive. It is known. He cannot be trusted to shop. I should have at least taken his money off him. I am far more sensible

Of course

It is known.

So I wandered around looking for him, occasionally making very SENSIBLE and REASONABLE purchases for I am the sensible, reasonable one. Yes yes I am.

So I caught up with him and, yes, he had bought ridiculous fruit wines and a truly unnatural amount of German sausages. And really how much venison and game birds? Gross waste of money! Unacceptable! Shameful! Inexcusable and I told him so most surely and a length so he couldn’t get a word in edgeways! Of course... that can’t be maintained forever

Beloved: What ARE you wearing?
Sparky: Don’t change the subject! *back to Necessary Stern Lecture*
Beloved: Is that a cloak?
Sparky: It‘s cold!.
Beloved: You bought a cloak. Oh that’s perfect!
Sparky: It’s a shiny cloak!
Beloved: Haha I have the moral highground! I have the moral highground!
Sparky: I blame sleep deprivation *desperate plea for sympathy)
Beloved: No excuses! I can buy anything now for, like a month and you can’t say anything!
Sparky: Only if you don’t buy a cloak as well...
Beloved:... damn. Can I use your cloak?
Sparky: Not without losing the moral highground.
Beloved: Damn damn damn damn... Well I have the moral highground until I get one
Sparky: Yes, enjoy it while you can *pats*

Even sleep deprived and at a grave disadvantage, I always win :)

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