I have gay friends! The political version

There’s been something bothering me lately. I’ve seen a common thread:

New foreign minister for Germany will be a gay man!

Obama appoints gay man as ambassador for New Zealand!

Tories have Gay front bench MPs!!!



And yes, this is a good thing, It’s good that GBLT people, people who not very long ago were arrested in many of these nations for daring to be gay, are now able to walk the halls of power. This is an amazing accomplishment, and I am ecstatic that it CAN happen and it gives me hope that we do have a place and that our sexuality is not seen as a bar.

But, your GBLT (or, let’s face it, gay man. Where’s our bi, lesbian and trans brothers and sisters?) colleague does not instantly put you in the pro-gay camp. It doesn’t make you an ally. It doesn’t make you a friend. And when you decide to wave him around at all critics yelling “we can’t be homophobes! We got ourselves a gay!” Because getting yourself a gay is right up there with making pretty speeches, attending nice GBLT rallies and pride parades and meeting with the “leaders” (*gag*) of the GBLT community.

They’re very nice gestures.

As this very good rant says enough with the token gestures already.

If you want to be a GBLT ally, if you want to show that you truly care about GBLT rights, about homophobia, about equality, about justice then you need to actually do something - especially if you’re in power

The gestures are nice - hell they’re really nice. They do show you’re paying attention to us. They show you care what we think. It shows you have some regard for what we say and believe and think and do. But if gestures is ALL you have then it shows you’re trying to fob us off, placate us, deceive us, patronise us and generally make us shut up, play nice and do what you want. You want to win our loyalty and earn some pro-gay points but you’re not actually DOING ANYTHING to earn it. You completely ignore GBLT rights and issues - issues that are vital to our lives - and then wave a rainbow flag, prop up a nice gay puppet and go say something nice to the Stonewall or Outrage folks. You think this makes you an ally? You think we should be GRATEFUL for that?

And this is triply disgusting when you’re homophobic and are waving your token gay around to pretend you aren’t. No amount of token gays or parties in gay bars will change how hard you fight against everything we are.

And to my GBLT (again, let’s face it, gay men) brothers and sisters who are being used this way. Some of you are doing a great job working within the system to work for us, protect us and promote us. More power to you and may you have good luck in doing so.

And some of you are filthy traitors. Pure and simple. Any arsehole GBLT Tory MP saying “My presence proves the Tories aren’t homophobes” is stabbing us in the back (That would be you, Nick Herbert). Anyone allowing themselves to be waves like some kind of rainbow flag to cover up homophobia is betraying us. You’re as bad as the self-hating homophobes who write ridiculous ant-homosexual laws then go trawling for gay sex on the side. You are being used by the haters - and you’re being used against yourself and all GBLT people. You are one of the greatest weapons in their arsenal. You do more good for the homophobes than any amount of frothing, crazy preachers. You’re throwing all of us under the bus for your own benefit. I do not even begin to understand how you can sit in a room full of MPs that voted 100% against EVERY gay right provision that has ever come past and then let them use your presence as a defence against homophobia.

Those “good homo” cookies they give you must be damned sweet to counter the taste of the vileness around you.

Why we should never shut up

It has been implied, from more than one quarter, that activists for GBLT rights and especially for my GBLT brothers and sisters in America, should shut up and wait. In fact, I’ve read no small number of articles for many weeks now that can be collectively entitled “STFU Homos.”

I firmly disagree with this premise. I don’t think any equality movement in the history of the world has ever achieved justice by sitting meekly and silently in the corner humbly waiting to be noticed.

I firmly believe that if you are silent you will be ignored. There are very large organisations that are dedicated to devaluing, harming and destroying GBLT folks and our rights. They will not shut up. If you don’t speak out loudly and angrily then THEY dominate the conversation, not you. And they will be the ones the politicians pander to.

I firmly believe that telling someone to wait for equality is wrong. It says GBLT people are low priority ands that the ongoing suffering and prejudice suffered by the GBLT community is not important.

While we wait a gay naval officer is forced to endure abuse in silence and when he does report it he falls foul of DADT

While we wait a lesbian is unable to see her long term life partner before she dies

While we wait more GBLT people are attacked

These things are happening and will continue to happen. And the longer we wait the more they will happen and the more victims they will be. When someone tells you to wait they are saying these victims - and future victims - do not matter. Are negligible. They’re not important.

And even if you think the advances won’t come yet, even if you think the government is busy with other things and justice for GBLT people is on the back burner - then you STILL have to keep pressing so it’s not forgotten altogether. Because they WILL forget.

You have to say that speeches are not enough

You have to remind them of their promises

You have to point out when they have done nothing

You have to speak when they do something homophobic

You have to speak when they ignore a very current GBLT battle

Because if you’re silent, they will ignore you. Because, even if you have to wait, if you wait in silence you will be waiting a very long time.

Randomness keeps life interesting

We’re painting the kitchen ceiling and door frames.

So, naturally, we covered the tiled floor in newspapers (where we get these newspapers from, I don’t know. We don’t actually get any kind of newspaper but the cupboard always have newspapers ready for recycling. I think Beloved must operate an underground press. Either that or they're breeding in a great incestuous illicit orgy in the cupboard under the stairs).

So upon raiding the kitchen for home made biscuits (Yorkshire Gingernuts. Nom nom nom) I glance down and see a crossword and the answer pops into my head (hey, glasses are working!!)

Fast forward 20 minutes to Beloved coming in

Beloved: Why are you laying on the floor?
Me: There’s a crossword here!
Beloved: Couldn’t you just take the paper? Hey Sodoku!

There then follows much crawling around on the floor hunting down sodokus and crosswords. And then Beloved was totally hogging all of the sodokus (how grossly unfair) so we had to discuss this which turned into having to wrestle over it (sodoku was ripped. Poor Sodoku)

I think I’ve plastered paint all over one of my good shirts, damn it.