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For whom doth the bell toll? phone ring?
May. 9th, 2006 03:19 pmAlso known as the importance of learning to dial 141 before calling anyone.
So the phone rings its merry little tune and, having said all necessary prayers to the gods of protection against annoyance, I answered it. And lo, it is client R.
Me: Hello, this is Sparky.
R: Um. Hi. It’s R
Me: Ah, Mr. R. I tried to contact you this morning. You are due in court in 30 minutes. I thought we had planned to meet before hand?
R: Uh, no… I’ll meet you at the court in 15 minutes, is that OK?
Me: It’s not ideal, but it will suffice..
R: OK. Right. I’ll see you there.
Me: of course.
R: *hangs up*
Me: *pushes little button* Mad Secretary?
MS: Are we unleashing the Hounds? {yes, a direct quote.}
Me: Possibly. Could you 1471 {in the UK the number you dial to hear the last number who called you} that last call?
MS: Sure. *pause* Ok, the number was 020***********
Me: He’s due in court in 30mins. Here. He said he’d meet me there in 15 minutes
MS: That’s a London number, though.
Me: Yes… could you call that number please and put me through?
MS: Ok, and I’m listening because this should be good. *phone rings*
R: Hello? {cretin answering the phone himself}
Me: Mr. R! May I congratulate you on the purchase of your private jet? Though you may have trouble parking it in the town centre.
MS: *snickers*
R: What?
Me: Or should I be congratulating you on inventing teleportation?
MS: *snorting harrumph*
R: What’re you talking about?
Me: I’m just exploring how you are actually going to manage to come from London to here – a 4 hour drive at the best of times and a good 2 hours minimum on the train – in the next 15 minutes.
R: I’m not in London…
Me: Really? I’m sorry, but I believe you are mistaken {y’know, because we do occasionally miss moving 4 hours south to our nation’s capital. Happens to me all the time.} My secretary has just called a London phone number and you have answered.
MS: *whisper* look out the window, oh my, is that Big Ben? How did that get here?
R: ummm…
Me: Unless you can give me an extremely good reason why you are missing this court date I will have to tell the court you have absconded.
R: I HAVEN’T!
Me: You’re on bail. You are due in court in 15 minutes. You are 4 hours away. Convincing the court you have not absconded may be difficult.
MS: and tomorrow, Sparky convinces the court that water is dry
R:… I’ll be there. *hangs up*
Me: *to dial tone* Relying on miracles for transportation is not wise
MS: I’ll release the Hounds.
Me: Good plan. *sigh*
Needless to say, he missed his court date. He now has a warrant on him. And y’know what’s worse? In, say, a month he will be back in court asking me to get him bail.
So the phone rings its merry little tune and, having said all necessary prayers to the gods of protection against annoyance, I answered it. And lo, it is client R.
Me: Hello, this is Sparky.
R: Um. Hi. It’s R
Me: Ah, Mr. R. I tried to contact you this morning. You are due in court in 30 minutes. I thought we had planned to meet before hand?
R: Uh, no… I’ll meet you at the court in 15 minutes, is that OK?
Me: It’s not ideal, but it will suffice..
R: OK. Right. I’ll see you there.
Me: of course.
R: *hangs up*
Me: *pushes little button* Mad Secretary?
MS: Are we unleashing the Hounds? {yes, a direct quote.}
Me: Possibly. Could you 1471 {in the UK the number you dial to hear the last number who called you} that last call?
MS: Sure. *pause* Ok, the number was 020***********
Me: He’s due in court in 30mins. Here. He said he’d meet me there in 15 minutes
MS: That’s a London number, though.
Me: Yes… could you call that number please and put me through?
MS: Ok, and I’m listening because this should be good. *phone rings*
R: Hello? {cretin answering the phone himself}
Me: Mr. R! May I congratulate you on the purchase of your private jet? Though you may have trouble parking it in the town centre.
MS: *snickers*
R: What?
Me: Or should I be congratulating you on inventing teleportation?
MS: *snorting harrumph*
R: What’re you talking about?
Me: I’m just exploring how you are actually going to manage to come from London to here – a 4 hour drive at the best of times and a good 2 hours minimum on the train – in the next 15 minutes.
R: I’m not in London…
Me: Really? I’m sorry, but I believe you are mistaken {y’know, because we do occasionally miss moving 4 hours south to our nation’s capital. Happens to me all the time.} My secretary has just called a London phone number and you have answered.
MS: *whisper* look out the window, oh my, is that Big Ben? How did that get here?
R: ummm…
Me: Unless you can give me an extremely good reason why you are missing this court date I will have to tell the court you have absconded.
R: I HAVEN’T!
Me: You’re on bail. You are due in court in 15 minutes. You are 4 hours away. Convincing the court you have not absconded may be difficult.
MS: and tomorrow, Sparky convinces the court that water is dry
R:… I’ll be there. *hangs up*
Me: *to dial tone* Relying on miracles for transportation is not wise
MS: I’ll release the Hounds.
Me: Good plan. *sigh*
Needless to say, he missed his court date. He now has a warrant on him. And y’know what’s worse? In, say, a month he will be back in court asking me to get him bail.