Introspective confused thoughts, re: possible proposal

First of all, no further ground has been taken on this. Both me and b/f have got on with perfectly normal lives without ever bringing this up again. I don't know long that will last, whether he's waiting on some cue from me, whether it was a joke in the first place or a spur of the moment thing he said and now regrets. He may just be waiting a little to ask again, or he may want to let it drop. Me? I don't know... I can hear the jaws drop. Yes, I aren't running to find a wedding suit, nor am I drawing up invitations and picking out some nice pagan handfasting spot. Why?

( Confused self-analysis )