sparkindarkness: (Default)
[personal profile] sparkindarkness
So, sitting in our wonderful local pub (expensive as hell, but a wonderful atmosphere), sampling the amber nectar, pausing only to snark at how the other patrons are dressed and trying not to kill She-Whose-Laugh-Can-Shatter-Lead, when someone walks in.

Me: Hey, I went to school with him. I used to have such a crush on him...
Beloved: Really?
Me: Yep, part of my fantasy life for many months. He’s still really hot too...
Beloved: *doubtful* You think so?
Me: *checks again* yep, great body, nice definition there, cute as hell, even the “I didn’t shave this morning” look works on him.
Beloved: I suppose so...

Now this is more than a little unusual, see, normally if one of us spots some nice eye candy we are quick to inform the other so we can engage in mutual drooling, as is polite (one of the advantages of being gay :)). It makes for fun evenings and even more fun nights. Occasionally Beloved will twit me for letting a nice pair of eyes overrule all other considerations... but he’s never been completely off when I point out someone truly cute.

Then the penny drops.

Me: You’re jealous!
Beloved: Of course not *blushes*
Me: You are! You really are jealous *must not laugh must not laugh*
Beloved: Don’t be silly, why would I be jealous? *mutter mutter more blush*
Me: *reassuring hug* Course it’s silly, but you are, aren’t you? *proceeds to poke all night, because I’m speshul like that*

So what have I learned?
1) Beloved is really really really cute when he’s jealous. I mean really, ultra cute.
2) Beloved being jealous makes me happy in a squeeing kind of way.
3) Be careful of eye candy. I think I’ve found the weak link - most guys that catch my eye are tall, dark and built. This guy is short, blond and cute... in other words, he looks like Beloved. For some reason that seems to make a difference to him.

Did I mention how cute he was? He really was :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 01:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logophilos.livejournal.com
That is just adorable :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meridae.livejournal.com
I hope you then totally took the opportunity to take beloved home and prove to him just how irreplacable he was, no matter how cute this pale, watery imitation of him might have been?

Cos, y'know, hawt man sex is usually a good cure for jealousy.

And you know, I can definitely see the advantage of having a partner who is attracted to the same sex you are. Course, if I ever get a boyfriend I'll probably freak him out by helping him admire women's boobs, cos I like looking at nice boobs.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tanarill.livejournal.com
Could you explain this to me? I just do not get what people see in boobs. I mean, I occasionally like other girls and I still don't get the attraction . . .

And I'm fairly sure that, if he's a healthy het male, he will not be freaked. He will be turned on.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meridae.livejournal.com
Actually, I probably can't explain it to you. Technically, I'm straight, although the idea of sex with women doesn't disgust me or anything . . . but a nice set of boobs, big or small, just does it for me. Maybe because their warm and soft and squishy and just nice? Cos I'm rather fond of my own? Because I have major issues, especially in regards to my relationship with my mother? Who knows! I try not to question, I just enjoy the view when the opportunity arises. ::teehee::

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tanarill.livejournal.com
Huh. Well, thank you! This is a semi-permanent question I keep asking people. I figure if I get enough answers I'll eventually get it :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mnemsyne.livejournal.com
ah this makes me laugh so much. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 07:22 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
He wins at adorableness :) Saccharine everywhere

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Of course! I have a duty to my poor poor, insecure Beloved one, don't I?

Yes, it was a duty. Definitely

Methinks said boyfriend would probably be more amused by the lesbian fantasies *does not understand straight men*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
How do you make 2lbs of fat attractive?

Stick a nipple on it!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
He is crazy - but the randomness is fun

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Cuteness everywhere :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 02:01 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphybelle.livejournal.com
ahh the joys of being gay. My girlfriend and I check out hawt girls on suicidegirls.com (most of them are awful but you get the occasional good ones) and bitch about the lack of hawt g0th chicks living in Melbourne. It's all fake tan, fake fingernails, blonde hair and motherfucking HOUSE music *shudder*

Beloved sounds adorable and exactly like me when I get jealous. Lol =P

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hanks-lil-pit.livejournal.com
ew.

not even that can redeem it.

Hank

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-18 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meridae.livejournal.com
You know, Sparky, I really do *admire* the devotion to duty that you show toward your relationship, and your understanding that there are some things that you just *have* to do to keep things healthy, no matter how distasteful they are.

::grins:: You know, I can just imagine you 'thinking of England' (er, not imagine graphically, just in a vague sense of er . . um . . yeah). I'm tempted to find that 'Good Housewife's Guide' from the Fifties and do a spoof suitable for the same sex couple.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-19 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
Isn't he just sooooo sweet?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-19 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
See, doesn't it work so so perfectly? You see hawtness, and you can mutual drool over them!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-19 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
I tend to agree - all it does is jiggle. Jiggly jiggly. And there's nicer jiggly things out there

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-19 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
My truly selflesws devotion borders on martyrdom. Really, I should start a cult.


Thinking of the england football team? :) That would be better. Yes, yes it would :)

The good housewife's guides from then were perfect parody for everyone! I've never read anything as funny as them

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-19 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
See?

http://gallery.pcapex.com/data/500/good_housekeeping1955.jpg


Did you ever read something so ridiculous and funny? :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-19 11:57 pm (UTC)
jerril: A cartoon head with caucasian skin, brown hair, and glasses. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jerril
Yes, it was a duty. Definitely

Might I suggest finding short cute blond blokes and getting them to walk by your table every time you dine out, in order to get a chance to 'do your duty' more often?

Methinks said boyfriend would probably be more amused by the lesbian fantasies *does not understand straight men*

I don't really have a clue what it it is about the lesbian fantasies and straight men, but there's enough girls out there who think gay men are sexy that it apparently works both ways.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-20 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meridae.livejournal.com
Well, you know - point three does suggest that you be a 'little gay' for him. I think beloved would really appreciate it if you were gay, don't you?

I'm not sure he'd appreciate you thinking about the English soccer team though. Teehee.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-20 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amynnah.livejournal.com
Awww! <3

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-20 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
I can be so very very gay for him :) And I'm suuuure he'll appreciate it

Awww, he can have a rugby team

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-20 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
I've alwasy been a very dutiful person. Yes yes I have.



What amuses me is that the same guys who will scream at gay men ande the sinfulness of homosexuality will happily watch 2 lesbians go at it

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-20 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sparkindarkness.livejournal.com
the cuteness rules!

I do some of those...

Date: 2007-08-20 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enigmatism75.livejournal.com
I make one last trip through the main part of the house to clear away the clutter - This is to make him think that I've spent all day working.

"Prepare the children" - 'Don't forget to tell your Dad I've been working all day kids.'

Don't complain if he stays out all night. - Too damn right I don't complain. No BB, able to drool over who I want on TV and eat what I want. Bliss.

Yipee. I'm a good housewife :D

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-22 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nonseqmenagerie.livejournal.com
Reasons I like boobies:

1) They are smooth, warm, and soft.
2) I like curves on women, and they are an important part of said curves.
3) Sensitive breasts and nipples give me another range of options for fun happy naked time.
4) They are good pillows to snuggle with.

This is not a universal - I don't like all boobies. But the boobies I like, those are generally the reasons. If it's a woman I'm not friendly with, then I may notice high marks on reasons 1 and 2, but normally it's because the boobies are an enjoyable part of a woman I'm already attracted to anyway.

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