Verdict: Death or torture?

[sparkindarkness]

A judgement is needed for the most appropriate punishment for this offence.

Beloved, in response to a minor disagreement has recently committed a terrible atrocity.

He left the following on his computer:

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor/

You will notice that it loops. Eternally.

Now,as has been implied before, he knows far more about computers. He can, for example, leave his computer playing something and lock it in a way that requires you to enter passwords to stop it or turn off the sound.

His computer is heavily integrated into his desk and stereo sound system. I cannot pull out plugs without breaking stuff.

You can probably already guess what he did, can't you?

He left THIS THING on. And went out, for an hour.

I don't think there is a fate sufficiently cruel enough to respond to this.

Comments

[zero_pixel_count]

Absolutely. Had a similar experience the other day. Only it was accidental, so I got the password when I phoned and demanded it.

[stormcat.livejournal.com]

On the one hand, I hate you. I have that stuck in my head now.

On the other hand, you've just given me ammunition in the earworm war I was having with R a bit back; he left off with something about a banana phone that hurt my head.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

If you need ammo for that, would a dancing banana be something you'd want to know about?

[stormcat.livejournal.com]

What he did is worse than the dancing banana page.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/166521

I apologise in advance.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's evil.


www.albinoblacksheep.com might have something you could fight back with, if you like. And there's a hamsterdance CD.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

For the future:

You know what an audio plug *looks like*, right? Little things, would fit into the earphone jack of an iPod or CD player? The back of his machine has at least one of those plugged into nice little colour-coded jacks. Pull those out, which you can do without changing anything else, and the music stops.

Alternately: Push the power button on his computer, just once. On 95% of machines, this will cause them machine to put itself to sleep. On the remaining 5%, it will cause it to gracefully shut itself down.

And, y'know, there are very few machines that can't recover from the occasional hard shutdown, doable without a password by holding the power button for 5-10 seconds. I'm just saying.

[manna]

Does he ever leave the computer on, but unlocked? Because if so, this went round one of the places my husband worked. It's amusing while still being non-destructive:

1. Take a screenshot of the desktop without any windows open.
2. Set the screenshot as the wallpaper.
3. Strategically delete a few key shortcut icons from the desktop, which will of course still appear to be there.
4. Watch and laugh.

[thisdaydreamer.livejournal.com]

Switch his keyboard setting to DVORAK.

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

*grins* Hmm I reccomend torture. find something equally annoying, tie him up and then leave it going while you head off to the shops for about the same amount of time.

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

I don't think there is a fate sufficiently cruel enough to respond to this.

Not even Numa Numa on loop?

It's hard to fathom the depravity of such a crime. I suggest you flog him with cats until he apologises. And then keep flogging him :)

Heh...

[caslayerboi.livejournal.com]

I say, pick a day when you're out of the house, but he's staying at home. But, before you leave, download this utility to wake up his computer at an odd hour of the night, when you KNOW that he'd be asleep. Set it up so that his explorer runs on start up and the homepage set to this url. Finally, before you leave the house, make sure that ALL of the volume dials are on "high."

I think that should be sufficient punishment, having a cute blond boy being waken up in the middle of the night by thundering repeats of "Badger! Badger! Badger! Badger! Badger! Badger! Badger! MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!" Also, if you want, I'm sure that one of your thousand minions can show you how to lock the system as he does, so he would be able unable to shut it off....

Why, yes, I am a cruel son of a bitch....

[blackironcrown.livejournal.com]

Just be glad it wasn't Kenya.

[solid-squid.livejournal.com]

That went around online as an evil way to get back at your boss who you dislike :3

[wyrdrune.livejournal.com]

Jusr go 'round the back and start randomly unplugging cables until it stops. Then tell beloved that a horde of Flying Ninja Elves came in and you you were powerless to stop them!

:-)

[indyellen.livejournal.com]

I vote for torture, not death - but mostly because I'm sure you still have...uses...for Beloved. ;) But that's particularly bad, yes. Others have made good selections for appropriate torture.

[cally7.livejournal.com]

So, er, what did you do to him to elicit this ... insanity?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

He turned his phone off. Evil.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hey, I have it stuck in my head, so I get to share the pain

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

See, he has his whole system built in an annoyingly complicated way. Short of breaking things or unscrewing his desk I don't think I could unplug anything. I couldn't even reach the mains

Circuit breakerS! damnit I should have hit the circuit breakers!

I tried the power button. Didn't work. Soemthing to do with the lock down i think

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

nope. His screensaver kicks in very quickly and its password protected. He says I infect computers with badness.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

This? Has to be done

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

A good plan. Where can I find a collection of bad Australian soaps?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Now numma numa was what I used to cure myself of this afflication!


Ooooh flogging *happy head space*

Re: Heh...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

But but... we sleep in the same room. Noise will wake us both? Alas we are not usually apart during the night

And his computer is impenetrable incase I infect it *sigh*

but that is evil
very evil

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

UIt could ahve been woirse. but not by much

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

he's integrated his whole system and its all built into a desk. I'd need a screwdriver or a hammer

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I most certainly have.... uses for him

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I am putting this down to either a random act of evil

OR possibly belayed revenge for something loooong ago

[zero_pixel_count]

the revenge of the downtrodden will be terrible? :D

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

*grins* Youtube?

Re: Heh...

[caslayerboi.livejournal.com]

Becareful, King Sparky, there are those of us that are just waiting for a moment of weakness... Ya know, I'm beginning to wonder if I should start up a coup. You almost sound like you've already forgiven Beloved for his transgressions. I mean, if you really want to get back at him, there's actually very few reasons stopping ya.

- About the sleeping in same room thing, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME THAT NIGHT. Being that you're a such a loveable fag, I'm sure that you're surrounded by hags (BTW, I've got full privilege to using that word, since I'm one too. *Shows off the permit*), who'd GLADLY work up a sobbing story about being dumped by an anal rapist boyfriend or something, so that you'd be able to say, "Hey, beloved. I gotta take (insert hag name) to the pub. I'm probably not gonna be home tonight, gotta make sure she doesn't off herself after the drunkage."

- Ya know, given that you and the blond one are pseduo-married and all lovey dovey, I find it hard that you don't even have an inkling about what his passwords are. I mean, don't you guys have something set up, in case of emergencies? But, it doesn't really matter. There's some programs that can crack or detect the password on windows machines, God knows that I've got friends who regularly load them on public uni machines (to download the e-mail passwords of those idiots that store their passwords on a PUBLIC machine...). I'm not entirely sure which one's the best, but I'm sure that your gazillion minions can recommend 'em. Or, check out this link.

-Well, maybe another form of revenge may be suitable, in the form of aversion threapy. I remember that once upon a time, I seduced the ex and made him perform stud duties over and over again... That was a punishment that worked very well for me. I mean, most men never even THOUGHT of sex as punishment, so if you've got orifices of titanium, maybe you could, in the words of Joss Whedon, "... ride [him] at a gallop until [his] legs buckled and [his] eyes rolled up... squeeze [him] until [he] popped like warm champagne, and [he]'d beg [you] to hurt [him] just a little bit more." Over and over. Until he's chaffed, sore and just a millimeter shy of bursting into tears. It could be fun.

[wyrdrune.livejournal.com]

So make it Hammer-Wielding-Flying-Ninja-Elves! :-)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

treading? Ooohj that';s an idea. Where are myt stompy boots

Re: Heh...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

The first form of revenge sounds like it involves much much effort and further more has a night where I am not snuggled next to the blond sexy one. this is baaaad.

The second one,. despite the risk of severe chafeing is definitely the way to go. Yes, yes it is.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Beware the ninja-elves!

Re: Heh...

[caslayerboi.livejournal.com]

Hehehe. Should have known that you can't stand being away from your living sex toy for a night, you strumpet. =P

By the way, judging by how you've referred to the blond one as "white boy" in the past entries, one can infer that the sparky does not come from one of the pale skinned heritages. So, I'm wondering, from which group does king sparky descend from?

Re: Heh...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I consider myself besotted. Yes, because it's classier than strumpet :p

Sparky is white, though I'm told I have some mixing in my heritage - certainly my grandfather. I'm not sure what ethnic group Rroma come under. I don't think I've referred to him as white so much as pale - Beloved is very aryan (though short) his skin is milky pale, he has blue blue blue eyes and light blond hair

I have black hair, nearly black eyes and dark olive skin - kind of mediterranean, maybe a little darker. Beloved always strikes me as being extremely pale from contrast if nothing else. And his fear of the sun amuses me :)

Re: Heh...

[caslayerboi.livejournal.com]

... Yes, because mauling your husband with lust when you're drunk and drooling is SO much classy. *Eye roll* Also, you DID refer to beloved as a white boy in the context of "It amuses me when white boys try to get a tan" or something to that effect, which I could see how you might have intended it as "pale," rather than "ethnicity."

By the way, you're married to a short blond guy?! Hehehehehehe... *Rolls on the floor* I'm now getting a mental picture of you being dominated by an 8 year old Macaulay Culkin. =P

Oh, yeah. *Licks* Sparky sounds tasty.