Teh silly raises its ugly head

[sparkindarkness]

We have half a pig and half a cow in our freezer.

Well, not literally, but very close to it. This is what happens when teh silly is allowed to take control.

See, we’re having friends round on the weekend (coven mates and others) and we have this vague ambition to barbeque. Not for any particular reason, mind you. Neither of us can cook using our extremely gadget stuffed kitchen (Rick is NOT a Gary Stu. It’s beloved who’s gadget obsessed not me. My blond, blue eyed, gadget obsessed computer geek beloved... ah hell, I got nothing) why do we think that either of us, confused and bemused by a 9 function microwave a 6 functioned oven, 2 hobs and a strange whirly thing that always draws blood will somehow manage to cook with a metal bottle of calagas over some fake charcoal I don’t know. Perhaps its a call all men feel - after years of healthy cooked food, elegantly prepared in sensible, hygienic surroundings, we all desperately crave charcoal smeared lumps of seared flesh. Maybe. But then one feels that that instinct should not demand that said seared flesh be served with a half-way decent béarnaise sauce. Kind of ruins the picture doesn’t it? One can hardly reject civilisation and the trappings of man and return to a primitive, almost bestial state when one craves elegant French sauces.

Anyway, back to teh silly - or continuing teh silly. See, I love my beef, he loves his pork. We both disdain the other’s choice. Now, rather than plan what lovely lumps of dead animals we were going to buy and how much we were going to need our adventure at the meat market turned into a strange game of chicken.

We both bought more of our preferred meat (not THAT meat thank you. Gutter people) than we needed and of course I didn’t say anything because I’m not lobbing any stones from the lawn of my glass house, thank you. Then one of us, I forget which (must have been him because I am SO much more reasonable, right?) saw something else and had to get it... which spurred the other to grab something and...

...well, you can see where this is going can’t you? And of course once you’ve let teh silly run away with you, you can’t stop without admitting to teh silly and you certainly can’t stop anyone else’s silly - because that just makes your own silly look worse. And everyone knows teh silly isn’t REALLY silly if you live in denial and pretend its right and reasonable. Right?

So now I have to find a way to convince Beloved that he has bought a silly amount of food and there is no need for us to try and cook it all this weekend. Because otherwise I’m going to have to back down which would be really unfair because it is clearly ALL HIS FAULT. Yes, yes it is.




And then there will be the challenge of ensuring various female relatives do not find out about teh silly as they already half believe that 2 men living together cannot possibly work (not that they disapprove of homosexuality or us - they just don’t think men can possibly survive without a woman’s tyrannical presence guidance).

Comments

[zero_pixel_count]

*chuckles* tell 'em you brought supplies for your next bbq while you were at it, because of the bulk-buying economy thing.

(There are two women and 1 guy in my lounge, and none of us have any particular sense for such things...)

[elrohana.livejournal.com]

Me and Beloved shopping together is such an expensive nightmare, we gave up doing it over 3 years ago when the credit card collapsed under the strain. And we're the traditional male-female partnership, so I guess I'm a dead loss as a female, hmmmm?

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

*Laughs* It is clearly his fault don't worry.

I think whether you work or not likely has little to nothing to do with your gender and more your mental setup. That said, I would be much more inclined to sit there with popcorn and simply watch the goings-on rather than actually try and affect anything.

[a-roar-a.livejournal.com]

tehe, you two must of been fun to watch at the grocery store. ;op

[logophilos.livejournal.com]

- they just don’t think men can possibly survive without a woman’s tyrannical presence guidance

Not saying nothing. I'll just be in my corner with my ovaries, giggling quietly to myself :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... he might buy that. Might.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

You fail at man herding. yes, yes you do :p

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

See? I knew it was!

See I say this but the Female Collective is of the opinion that men need careful management or insanity will follow

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

I cna only imagine. Oh dear oh dear

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

The Female Collective watches our every move! And is amused

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

*grin*

Yes but thankfully I am not part of the female collective, female yes. Collective, hell fuck no.

[ladydyani.livejournal.com]

I thought that was why you post here? For a woman's "guidance"? Or several women. Hmmm. How many fangirls do you have versus fanboys?

Though I suppose it doesn't work since we don't hear about this kind of stuff until after the fact, so we can't stop you.

I'd go with the bulk excuse. "Stocking up while it was one sale!" They don't have to know it wasn't on sale.

[mharbourgirl.livejournal.com]

Wow. For a moment I had an uncharacteristic urge to offer to have your hypothetical babies. Another female who emphatically refuses to join the moo-ing herd? If I wasn't already desperately in love with the hubster, I might have to stalk you. (I'm kidding, but it's cool to meet another like-minded female) :) Cookies to you, hun. :)

[mharbourgirl.livejournal.com]

See, this is why men cannot be allowed at the grocery store unsupervised. I saw it in my dad, my brothers, and my husband is definitely NOT allowed to go to the grocery store even WITH me. I get into enough fights without his enthusiastic help, not to mention what happens to the budget when he sticks his oar in. :) Watching TWO men try to shop for food without going out the far side of silly into the turbid waters of ridiculousness requires beer and snacks and a comfy chair so you don't hit your head on the floor when you fall over laughing. It's cute, too cute for the room, but really, really inefficient. :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Guidance? Wouldn't that require me to know good advice if it slapped me upside the head? :)

Bulk buying of meat though?

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

This is what the female collective said to us, but we resist most fiercely.

We have to do nthe shopping./ Otherwise we may not see shinies or tasties. Then we will not randomlyu buy them. Then we will not be able to look back in our freezer after 2 months and think "why do we have 8 saffron coated chickens in soy sauce?"

I think the staff were treating us as entertainment. Ah well, there is some profit

[ladydyani.livejournal.com]

With a deep freezer, meat will last at least six months. I can't remember exactly how long, the freezer came with a guide sheet, but my knee is swollen and I don't wanna get up. I stock up when it's on sale. Chicken sometimes doubles in price week to week around here.

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

*Preens and munches cookies* Glad to hear I'm not the only one out there who hates the female collective and likes to threaten to stalk people and or have their metaphotical children XD