sparkindarkness (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sparkindarkness) wrote2009-02-23 04:54 pm
sparkindarkness) wrote2009-02-23 04:54 pm
Entry tags:
There are some days when you have to remind yourself you’re all grown up now
Of course, the reminder only serves to make you feel SILLY about the childish thing you just did.
The powers that be have finally repaired our underground parking at work (possibly because we have kidnapped the Senior Partners’ significant others until the work gets done. Well Expect for most Senior of Partner‘s spouse - but we promised him we would kidnap her when the work is finished. He is now looking hopeful).
And like any new building work we seem to have done - it’s a disaster. It’s very very very poorly lit, the electrics are severely dodgy and the acoustics mean that a revving engine may actually burst your ear drums - oh and it has a ventilation system that seems to have the sole purpose of piping IN smell. Needless to say, words have been exchanged.
However it did set the scene for silliness.
Colleague and I, after a late night of trying to meet a deadline (no chance, Client is incapable of understanding the term, I think we should work on teaching him the word syllable by syllable...) we make our way down to our cars.
The lights are dead. It is pitch black. We are reduced to shuffling along the cavernous space using our phones as make-shift torches
It’s al this point the colleague remarks that she wishes she hadn’t watched so many horror films. I did not find this remark helpful - though i was suddenly very much in agreement
I have to mention at this point that the ventilation systems makes a rather disturbing, well, groaning sound. A moaning almost. And a plastic bag caught in the draft sounds almost EXACTLY like shuffling feet. Shuffling dragging feet.
There follows a pause. A pause while 2 grown adults (horror movie aficionados), logical, sensible, mature professionals have an internal monologue convincing themselves that, no, there are no zombies in the parking garage.
Neither of us is very convincing. Of course, running desperately for the cars in the dark would be foolish and unsafe. It would also be embarrassing as hell. And we’re not that silly, are we? Are we? Not even with that scraping sound... Or that wailing sound... Ah hell
...
So what have I learned?
1) Even the silliest of things can suddenly seem real in a spooky dark car park.
2) Colleague TOTALLY has my back in case of a zombie apocalypse. No fumbling for keys, she can get them out and ready in a second while I cover her, and she can get her high-heels off for easier running in 2 seconds flat. We’d be an absolutely rocking team. Can’t you just see it now? 2 Lawyers running through the streets with shotguns killing zombies and making lots of bad legal puns? “OBJECTION, brain-eater!” “Habeus THIS, corpus!”
3) Being eaten by zombies may actually preferable to the moment of squirming embarrassment that followed us turning on the headlights. We are Not Talking About It.
The powers that be have finally repaired our underground parking at work (possibly because we have kidnapped the Senior Partners’ significant others until the work gets done. Well Expect for most Senior of Partner‘s spouse - but we promised him we would kidnap her when the work is finished. He is now looking hopeful).
And like any new building work we seem to have done - it’s a disaster. It’s very very very poorly lit, the electrics are severely dodgy and the acoustics mean that a revving engine may actually burst your ear drums - oh and it has a ventilation system that seems to have the sole purpose of piping IN smell. Needless to say, words have been exchanged.
However it did set the scene for silliness.
Colleague and I, after a late night of trying to meet a deadline (no chance, Client is incapable of understanding the term, I think we should work on teaching him the word syllable by syllable...) we make our way down to our cars.
The lights are dead. It is pitch black. We are reduced to shuffling along the cavernous space using our phones as make-shift torches
It’s al this point the colleague remarks that she wishes she hadn’t watched so many horror films. I did not find this remark helpful - though i was suddenly very much in agreement
I have to mention at this point that the ventilation systems makes a rather disturbing, well, groaning sound. A moaning almost. And a plastic bag caught in the draft sounds almost EXACTLY like shuffling feet. Shuffling dragging feet.
There follows a pause. A pause while 2 grown adults (horror movie aficionados), logical, sensible, mature professionals have an internal monologue convincing themselves that, no, there are no zombies in the parking garage.
Neither of us is very convincing. Of course, running desperately for the cars in the dark would be foolish and unsafe. It would also be embarrassing as hell. And we’re not that silly, are we? Are we? Not even with that scraping sound... Or that wailing sound... Ah hell
...
So what have I learned?
1) Even the silliest of things can suddenly seem real in a spooky dark car park.
2) Colleague TOTALLY has my back in case of a zombie apocalypse. No fumbling for keys, she can get them out and ready in a second while I cover her, and she can get her high-heels off for easier running in 2 seconds flat. We’d be an absolutely rocking team. Can’t you just see it now? 2 Lawyers running through the streets with shotguns killing zombies and making lots of bad legal puns? “OBJECTION, brain-eater!” “Habeus THIS, corpus!”
3) Being eaten by zombies may actually preferable to the moment of squirming embarrassment that followed us turning on the headlights. We are Not Talking About It.
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This one turned out to be a lot brighter than I expected - looked at head-on, it leaves quite an after-image even in a lit room:
http://www.photonlight.com/Photon-Micro-Light-II-Keychain-LED-Flashlights-p/p2-keychain-led-flashlight.htm
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LOL
When I was around 30, my dad found me poking at a rather odd, cream colored round blob on the side of the house with a stick. He asked me what I was doing. "Checking for aliens." I wasn't kidding, either. It turns out it was some insulation foam stuff that he blew up under the siding and which oozed out of a crack.
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LOL
My thoughts exactly.
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LOL, well there COULD be aliens!
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*remembers what happened this morning with the strange noises in her false ceiling*
*shuts up*
Btw, I'm still so glad I've got you around to blame. When I had this blazing row with my husband this afternoon, I normally would have gone for my period/him being an insensitive lazy clod sometimes, but it's so much easier to say it's your fault. I reckon you may be saving my marriage.
Oh, wait, that can't be right.
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yes yes I am!
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I'm sure they did a comic relief like that once. They had many normal programmes like soaps and suddenly added zombies :)
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(Sparky, I have been a reader for a few years before I had a LJ of my own [found you via Customers_Suck] I am not a crepy stalker girl. Well, not really...Ok, maybe a bit)
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lol the more the merrier :) even the creepy stalkers :)
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Vendor is an example, buy local. If anyone knows of comparable UK manufacturer of good quality flashlights holler.
http://www.drillspot.com/products/87269/Streamlight_72001_Sub-Miniature_Flashlight
1) Have fire making tools always
2) Have a good light source
Why? A light that can cause people to gasp is always fun. Making fire is fun anytime.
The mini light is to get me to the 65 lumen surefire and 12 pack of batteries in the glove compartment of my car. ;)
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Hmm maybe I should get one :)
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The extreme intensity is mainly for peace of mind i.e. you can *see*, for intimidation or for signaling. They can garner attention if for some reason you cannot contact emergency services directly. The higher priced of these style flashlights can be made to blink incessantly.
Right now Sure Fire and Streamlight are the easiest high quality flashlights you can find in the US. There should be a good quality British manufactured one. Look for 'tactical' or 'law enforcement use'. It's mostly a meaningless term, you'd have to be able to handle one to evaluate it but at least it can point you to who might have good brands. Granted 'made in somewhere' is usually china but at least you can gripe at the local business if it breaks.
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