it's really a matter of timing and coincidence that my partner turned out male.

Yes. I was once told by a gay woman, in all seriousness, that I had no right to affiliate myself with her cause, because I was 'passing' in society. Most people would look at me and assume I was one of the heterosexual 'norm' and therefore I did not suffer as she did. That may certainly be true, to an extent, but it seems a poor reason to cut out a natural group of supporters.