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I have no time or patience for people who decide to champion a marginalised cause - even a worthy cause - by attacking another marginalised group.

I have no time or patience for people championing a marginalised group by declaring this particularly group has the worst oppression ever and other marginalised groups are less important

I have no time or patience for people championing a marginalised group by declaring the campaigns of other marginalised groups to be over, unnecessary, pointless or less important.

I have no time or patience for people championing a marginalised group by picking out another marginalised group or people specifically to attack in the process

I have no time or patience for people championing a marginalised caused but who can't resist throwing in a dig at another marginalised group.

I have no time or patience for people who hear about a marginalised groups victories, struggles or defeats and decide to dismiss it, speak over it or other wise distract from it or put it down.

I have no time or patience for people who only mention a marginalised group to say bad things about them - even if the criticism is valid or sometimes accurate.

I have no time or patience for people who fight for marginalised causes by deciding another marginalised group has "won enough" or "got enough" (especially if that group is fighting for rights or protections the person already has).

I have no time or patience for people who appropriate marginalised causes to try and use them as weapons against another marginalised group

I have no time or patience for people who engage in bigotry while trying to call out other bigotry. If you can't fight oppression without engaging in oppression then you're doing something badly wrong

If the only way you can champion marginalised people or marginalised issues is by throwing shit at other marginalised people and marginalised issues then you are failing at activism. Equality is never going to be achieved by throwing rocks at people who are also struggling. Nor does claiming to be fighting for equality disguise your not very subtle bigotry.
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 Someone does or says something that is grossly homophobic. Sometimes there’s outrage, sometimes there isn’t – either way there’s a number of people who remember that and the label “homophobe” is now attached to that person. A number of people, especially GBLT people, are not too pleased with them and will avoid them if possible.

 Through a need to salve their conscience, improve their reputation or even (most incredibly rarely) a genuine need to be a better person, the homophobe asks how they can make it right. What do they have to do to no longer be considered a homophobe?

 Well, your first problem is that people have different metrics – so don’t assume that just because you’ve pleased one GBLT person or organisation that everyone else is going to sign off on that.

 But if you’re going to ask me what it would take for me to not consider you a bigot any more? Well, that’s going to vary from event to event but it would, at minimum, include:

 An actual apology (not a non-pology or excuse and one that admits you are actually wrong. And an apology alone won’t even come close to me not considering you a bigot) that also doesn’t call your actions a “mistake”.

 Not repeating your behaviour

 Using any power you have to prove you have changed (politicians making pretty speeches but not actually changing policy or votes? Homophobes playing the PR game)

No appeals for “a second chance” or “trust” you are owed neither

 Not profiting from your apology or your gestures of redemption

 These are the beginning, the bare minimum, before I will even consider no longer thinking of you as a homophobe

 But, y’know what? Sometimes I don’t have an answer. Sometimes I really can’t think of anything you can do. Or nothing you can do until an opportunity arises that may, indeed, never arise.

 Yes, that means your homophobic words and deeds may have me and people like me deciding you’re a nasty bigot we want nothing to do with and there’s nothing you can do to change that.


 This is not my problem. These are the consequences of your actions; if you are a bigot, people will treat you as and regard you as a bigot. And even if you want to change, no-one’s obliged to treat you differently until they’re satisfied that you deserve it – which may never happen. That’s not their fault. You are the one who showed your bigoted arse. People are treating you accordingly – no-one owes your forgiveness, no-one owes you an easy way out. No-one owes you ANY way out. You can ask how you can make it right – but sometimes you can’t, and if you can, it’s not my job to give you a plan on how to do that.

 Here’s the thing, it’s not actually my job to pave the road to your redemption.

 You’re the arsehole here. You, carelessly at best and wilfully at worst, displayed your bigoted arse for all to see.

 You hurt people, those people are pissed at you – it’s not their job to forgive and forget just because you want them to. It’s not their job to trust you again. It’s not their job to play nicely with you. They don’t have to “forget” or “get over” what you’ve done. No, no matter how many “milestones” you think you’ve achieved or how much you’re congratulating yourself on the awesome progress you’ve made in not being an arsehole and not even if you have a full crowd of dancing supporters who are willing to sing your praises.

 They forgive only when – and if – they want to and think they should. And if you ask “what will it take to be forgiven?” and get the answer “there’s nothing you can do.” Then so be it, you don’t get forgiven. I repeat this because it can’t be emphasised enough: it’s not actually my job to pave the road to your redemption. I have no duty to rehabilitate you, to repair your reputation, to sing your praises or to try and erase your misdeeds. I have no duty to help you to do any of those things for yourself either.

 If I call you a homophobe, this isn’t me volunteering to be your personal life coach to be a better person, nor am I volunteering to be your PR manager to guide you on how to make all the criticism go away. I’m certainly not volunteering to approve your conscience-salving gestures.

 You are not owed a step-by-step guide for being absolved of your bigotry. You’re not owed absolution at all. Sometimes you’re going to have to live with it, sometimes you’re going to have to accept that the evil shit you said/did is going to follow you for the rest of your days.

 Deal with it. Because I have zero obligation to embrace a scorpion to give it a chance to prove to me it won’t sting me. Again.


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 Bigot Baroness Warsi, who published pamphlets warning people of the terrible dangers of gay people preying on school children, has let us know she's on a "journey" when it comes to the equality of gay people.


Homophobic journalist Mehdi Hasan (he who thinks gay people worried about the World Cup being held in Qatar where gay people are flogged are "qatarphobic") has written a long piece on how much he STRUGGLES with homophobia and he was totally even more homophobic in the past!


The Salvation Army - a deeply homophobic organisation (you should really donate to other charities if you think GBLT people are human beings) - has assured us they've removed their ex-gay therapy links - and they totally won't let the guy who thinks the penalty for being gay is death to speak again. Of course, they're not changing policy


The Pope makes some pretty speeches while maintaining the bigotry of his church - continuing to fight tooth and nail against equality measures in Italy, Ireland, the US, India (yes, the Catholic church was one of those that pushed to bring back the anti-gay genocide in that country) and many more places. But his apologists cry "baby steps".

And we can scarcely go a week without some wanna-be ally describing the convoluted steps he's taken to discover that LO! GBLT PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE PEOPLE!




I don't give a fuck what "journey" you're on or how much "better" you've got. I don't care that you have backtracked on SOME of your bigotry. I don't care about the "baby steps" you take when you're still miles from seeing me as an actual person


You're still a bigot


You're still a homophobe.


I don't care if you feel really guilty about going to see Ender's Game. I don't care if every time you eat your Chick-fil-a, you make a mea-culpa blog post and feel really bad. I don't care how much you have "struggled" with the idea that I am a human being as worthy as you.


You're still a bigot


You're still a homophobe


Do you not see how INSULTING it is that you are having an epic struggle to see me as a person? Do you not see how offensive it is for you to declare that looking at me as an equal is some kind of massive hardship to you? Don't you see what a slap in the face it is to say you have to "evolve" or "grow" to finally realise that I'm an actual person worthy of respect?


It's about being a decent human being. Do you actually expect me to be impressed by you having so much trouble reaching bare minimums of decency?


I don't care about your struggle, your evolution, your guilt and if you're on a "journey" please let it to be somewhere far away from me. All your struggles say is just how little you think of us. All your guilt is worthless when you support bigotry anyway. Having to battle to see us as people just shows how low your regard for us is.



I am not giving out any praise for people working their way towards basic decency. You treat me as a full human being, due the respect, rights and regard that any human being is due, or you're a bigot and a homophobe and I will treat you with the contempt you deserve. 


I don't give people medals for realising I'm human, since it's the bare minimum required for basic decency and I don't rewards the bare minimum. I'm not going to give an iota of praise to people who don't even reach that minimum! Or those who have met that minimum but want me to know just how HARD it is to see me as an actual person! Or who are desperately trying to stretch for that minimum but JUST COULDN'T DO IT! ZOMG SO HAAAAARD!


You're a bigot or you're not. It's that simple. This isn't even about "allydom" here, or doing anything (y'know, stuff that may actually be praiseworthy). It's about being a decent human being - and it's really not that hard.

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 There are apparent differences about him in that this Pope seems to have been something of an ascetic as a cardinal – in as much as a cardinal tends to be. And he apparently has a record that isn’t awful when it comes to poverty issues.

 This has lead an inordinate amount of people to praise his “social justice” dedication and “man with a conscience”

 Yeah, let me side-eye you all for that.

 As can be expected from that most bigoted of institutions, the Catholic church, the new Papa Nazi is just as nasty as the last one. He actually calls gay folks satanic and our families “discrimination against children”. He’s anti-choice, anti-contraception, anti-GBLT. All of the standard bigoted bullshit. And I have no time for anyone beginning with “yes he’s a homophobic misogynist… but” my tolerance of papal apologists is exhausted. And don't tell me he's passionate for the poor and marginalised if you don't at least have the decency to add "well, so long as they're cis and straight"

Which means I also question the whole dedication to poverty and HIV activism apologists are touting. He wants to help HIV but is against contraception? Yeah sitting there and having REALLY GOOD INTENTIONS while scuppering the greatest tool we have against HIV is about as useful as a chocolate fire guard. And poverty? Maybe for straight, cis men – but homophobia and transphobia pushes an inordinate number of GBLT people into poverty. And being able to have control of her own reproductive choices is a not unimportant factor in tackling poverty among women as well. So let’s say what it is – he gives lip service to anti-poverty efforts for certain groups and makes some dramatic gestures like ZOMG TAKING THE BUS! OH THE HUMILITY! He cooks HE actually COOKS FOR HIMSELF! Heavens to Betsy, fetch me the smelling salts I feel quite faint from shock!

 As an added bonus this particular Cardinal seems to have been up to his neck in Argentina’s dictatorship. But keep on praising this man’s “conscience”.

 All in all, the new pope is going to be much the same as the old pope. A rather evil man, supporting a lot of painful cruelty and bigotry but given a vast amount of influence in the world because 1.2 billion Catholics are willing to empower him and the damage he causes.


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Cardinal Keith O’Brien has been nominated as “Bigot of the year” by Stonewall.

 He has called marriage equality akin to child abuse and slavery. He has called us grotesque. He called our love “madness”. He is part of an organisation that has said we could destroy humanity itself, that we are a threat on par with major natural disasters. And that’s just the head – if I looked at what other Catholic Cardinals, bishops and priests had said then it becomes obvious that the only difference between the Catholic Church and the Westboro Baptist church is age and size of membership.

 And the vast majority of straight folks didn’t crack their damn teeth in the face of these attacks. It’s ok, because a religious person is saying them, because it was just their precious opinions, because it’s his religion and, ultimately, because GBLT people were his victims and we’re an acceptable target for hatred.

 But now? Oh how could we! How could people call the Cardinal a bigot? Oh pass the smelling salts and gather the damn fainting couches because it’s just oh too much for these delicate folks to stand!

 Fuck all you people crawling out of the woodwork to whimper how mean the cardinal’s VICTIMS are when he gets some push back to his bigotry?!

 Where the fuck were you, Alex Salmond, when this Catholic bigot called us Nazis? Where were you when the Pope called us a threat to humanity? Where were you then with you whining about “personal insults”? But now? Oh no! How could Stonewall say such a terrible thing?!

 Fuck the lot of you demanding we shut up and take it over and over again. Fuck the lot of you demanding we be victims all the damn time. Fuck the lot of you pretending that homophobia is OK. You’re defending bigots – and you are bigots. Bigots for demanding we be abused constantly and smile and lick your hands like the quislings around you. Bigots for normalising homophobia and hate speech. Fuck you for creating a world in which our lives are constantly demeaned. Arseholes like you are why we’re driven to suicide – because when the haters attack us and degrade us you stay silent, but whenever we try to fight back to tell us to sit down and shut up.




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April 2015

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